What is the worst thing you ever witnessed in your home? For those who live in healthy homes, the answer is probably a heated but normal argument between family members, destroyed furniture or clothing from a misbehaving pet’s rampage, or those things that happen through nobody’s fault such as burst pipes or ants invading the kitchen.

Children who grow up in a home where domestic violence is present may witness horrific scenes that include a parent or sibling being kicked, hit, burned, cut, belittled, frightened and isolated from other adults. Exposure to such treatment of someone else in their home is not something these children can simply forget or outgrow.

“Infants and small children who are exposed to violence in the home experience so much emotional stress that it can harm the development of their brains and impact cognitive and sensory growth” reads page 6 of the UNICEF brochure “Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of Domestic Violence on Children.”

The type of exposure the child experiences depends on the individual situation. Some children who are not the abuser’s primary target for abuse are abused in order to threaten or punish the parent or older sibling.

Many children living in homes where domestic violence occurs are accidentally injured simply by being present when violent episodes occur. The child may be hit or thrown trying to protect their parent or older sibling from the abuser. He or she might be hit with a thrown object, injured while attempting to flee a frightening scene, or harmed by something that was left unattended by an abuser or victim caught up in an episode, such as a pot of hot water left on a stove or a knife left on a table.

The Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence further points out that children are often used as tools or pawns to control the victim. An abuser may threaten to take the children and disappear if the victim does not obey, begin telling the children lies about the victim, or spread false rumors claiming that the victim is abusing the children.

Children made to grow up in homes where they are exposed to these types of situations may begin to show signs as early as infancy and pre-school age. Very young children exposed to domestic violence often fail to become emotionally attached to their parents or other adult caregivers. They tend to be more irritable than what would be expected for their age group. Some babies and toddlers exposed to domestic violence show an extreme clinginess to the abused family member and fear of the abuser.
 
As the child grows older, he or she often has difficulty concentrating in school. This can lead to learning problems that follow the child for many years.

Some children growing up in violent households imitate the abuser’s behavior and become hostile, aggressive, and disobedient. Others withdraw into themselves and seem overly quiet and preoccupied for their age.
 
Difficulties with school and adults outside the child’s home often extend to their relationships with peers. They often miss out on common childhood and adolescent social activities such as slumber parties, after school activities, games, and prom, often turning down peers’ invitations out of fear of exposing the family secret or forcing friends to witness the abuse in their home.
 
Difficulties in learning and socializing at early ages can impact the child as he or she grows, but this does not mean their lives are hopeless. If you know or suspect a child is caught in a domestic violence situation, speak out. Contact the Winnemucca Domestic Violence Shelter at 775-625-1313 for information and guidance. www.winnemuccadvs.com