The butterfly effect is a curious concept.  Now, I’m not talking about a movie here, but rather the theory that one small change can have everlasting effects elsewhere.  It’s much like dropping a pebble into a pond.  This action will create ripples that spread outward covering an increasingly larger area.  Words too can work this way.

I have been a student at Lowry for three years.  Since my freshman year, I have been bullied.  Some of it was done by people I looked up to, some of it by so-called friends, and still some of it from people whose names I didn’t even know.  I’ve been shoved into lockers, called names, hit, and I’ve even been spit on.  Nothing has ever been done to change any of that in the time I’ve been there.  It took the death of a student and the near-death of another to bring this subject to the forefront of our community’s eyes.

Kids don’t realize how much bullying affects certain people.  Maybe they don’t even mean for what they say to sound mean and demoralizing, but everyone has different levels of sensitivity and some take every word to heart.  At this point in life, teenagers are extremely self-focused and shallow.  Looks are the main thing that these kids focus on.  If you don’t fit in or follow the mainstream, you’re automatically looked down upon.  I know of one boy who was actually tripped in the hallway because he was new and wasn’t the best looking guy around.  His books flew everywhere and no one helped him pick them up.

High school is supposed to be a good experience in our lives, but for too many it isn‘t.  We’re supposed to be happy, right?  We’re supposed to be carefree and having fun.  We’re supposed to make varsity and have so many friends we can’t even remember them all.  In reality, some kids cry a lot more than anyone would expect.  Not everyone makes varsity.  The reality is not everyone is allowed into the “in crowd”;  while others have one friend, some, like me, have none.

Almost every kid I know has a school self and a home self.  At school kids gossip, curse, and fight; yes, even your kid’s actions might surprise you.  I’ve heard that bullies hurt inside, for whatever reason, so they bring others down to make them feel better.  I think that’s one of the main reasons why a certain boy bullied me horribly my freshman year.  It probably wasn’t anything against me, per say, but more something he used to take his mind off of his troubles.  If his intention was to share his pain, it worked; I shared his pain.

Even though I’ve tried to forgive many of the kids who have picked on me in my few years at Lowry, one question is always on my mind:  Why me?  I have wondered this many times and I don’t think I’ll stop wondering anytime soon.

You should all keep in mind that the words that you say to someone may stay with them their entire life.  Going back to the butterfly effect, your words can create a huge impact in someone else’s life.  If someone is told something every day, they’ll start to believe it.  This leads to a depleting sense of self-worth and a lowering of self-esteem.

Many people do not understand the seriousness that accompanies bullying.  Lives can be and are put at stake by things that are as simple as what you may say.  If you think your child is being bullied, talk to them and let them know that you‘re there for them. They may not bring it up to you for fear that you will tell and make it even worse or just simply not understand.  Don’t pressure them, but be kind and listen.  It could possibly save your child’s life.  Everyone needs to understand that their words are so powerful, they can literally kill another person.

To any students at Lowry that may read this and even you adults, I want you to read the next part carefully:  We need a solution; we need to be the change we want to see in the world.  We need to stop judging others based on what they look like.  Everyone is broken in their own way and they may be such a good actor that you will never have a clue.  I have heard kids tell others who don’t agree with them to go kill themselves.  That is never the answer and, if anything, worsens the problem.  Everyone holds different opinions and until we can all respect that, conflicts will arise.

As Barbara Sher, a career counselor and best-selling author, states:

“People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she's angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That's why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn't supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn't supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it's comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day's not perfect, it's not a failure or a terrible loss. It's just another day.”

If your child is depressed, being bullied, or even the bully, there are options.  Counseling is never a bad idea.  It helps tremendously, although it may take time.  I guess one thing I want you all to know is that there are always options.  There is always hope.  Here’s some links that may help you find your option.

If you feel like you need some help dealing with something in your life, such as bullying, self-harm, addiction, or eating disorders, please look at this link:  http://www.twloha.com/find-help/

If you think want information on depression, here is a link that may help:  http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm

If you are being bullied, here is a link that may help you and your parents: 
http://www.greatschools.org/special-education/health/what-parents-can-do-about-childhood-bullying.gs?content=825